Fears of My Life

By Peach


Fear of drowning in the bathtub by accident
Fear of my hair burning from a candle by accident
Fear of having an earthquake in the middle of the night and I can't find my glasses or my clothes or shoes and have to run out of the house in my underwear and blind as a bat
Fear of falling off the top storey of a building
Fear of falling into a chasm in a snowy mountain and dying alone like in that movie
Fear of being lost in the wilderness and starving to death or getting eaten by sharks or wolves
Fear of getting lost on a hike without any water food or flashlights
Fear of accidentally skiing or driving off a cliff
Fear of drowning in my car and not being able to get out while the water comes in
Fear of getting a speeding ticket for driving just a few miles over the speed limit
Fear of getting a $370 ticket and 1 traffic point from a red light camera that is inaccurate
Fear of getting a parking ticket for parking in a permit zone when there was no permit sign visible and they tricked me
Fear of discovering that my car has been vandalized
Fear of toilet bowls getting jammed and overflowing (especially if it's in other people's house and it's your fault)
Fear of hairdryers falling into bathtubs of water
Fear of accidentally hitting reply to all to 1,000 people on email while saying bad things about someone
Fear of talking bad about someone on a conference call when the mute button was supposed to be on, but it wasn't
Fear of all mute buttons on phones because maybe sometimes they work and sometimes they don't
Fear of talking bad about someone in a public place and they are behind me or in the same restaurant
Fear of bananas turning black before I can eat them
Fear of opening trunk of my car and discovering that I forgot a bag of groceries in there and they have rotted
Fear of leftovers
Fear of food mixed together and sauces touching on a buffet plate
Fear of burritos that have slimey and wet ingredients inside
Fear of my mother
Fear of my parents
Fear of getting any letters or emails or phone calls from my mother
Fear of being involved in some big scandal just because you are trying to do your job and please your boss like in Arthur Andersen
Fear of losing all my 401(k) retirement money to some crooked financial company like in Enron
Fear of the INS
Fear of my green card expiring and having to stand in line at the INS for hours and days
Fear of getting deported for a parking violation
Fear of hitting a person or another car with my car
Fear of merging lanes or changing lanes at high speed with some asshole behind me who won't let me pass
Fear of snails, slugs, spiders, crickets
Fear of cockroaches most of all
Fear of lizards
Fear of centipedes
Fear of SARS
Fear of bird shit and chicken shit
Fear of salmonella, ebola, HIV-AIDS, smallpox, e-coli on lettuce
Fear of STD's
Fear of people who spit and hack and cough with spittle flying
Fear of smelly homeless people touching me by accident
Fear of germs in an airplane cabin Fear of dying from an airplane crash
Fear of people who talk to me in elevators or on airplanes
Fear of stepping on dog shit or poop on pavement
Fear of tsunamis
Fear of being fat
Fear of getting old and ugly and wrinkled
Fear of seeing coffins with people I know inside
Fear of burying people under the ground
Fear of dark deep pits
Fear of the movie Ringu
Fear of wells and dark water
Fear of deserted alley ways and desolate city blocks
Fear of insomnia and bad dreams
Fear of big mad dogs that bite
Fear of touching starfish or jellyfish or squid
Fear of the deep
Fear of rejection letters
Fear of not finding a job and being homeless and unemployed and not having money to buy food
Fear of wars like the Nazi’s, fear of genocide
Fear of living in war time and being arbitrarily shot in the back of the head
Fear of being forced to do bad things by Nazi's like shoot one's own family
Fear of losing people you love or watching them die or getting a phone call that they are dead
Fear of going to auditions and humiliating yourself by not being able to sing and dance like the others
Fear of competitions
Fear of being on stage and forgetting lines
Fear of being told you are not pretty
Fear of losing your hair and becoming bald
Fear of getting fatter and fatter and not being able to slim back down even though you tried everything
Fear of lonely old people who want to adopt you and make you become their kids because their own kids hate them
Fear of lonely people in general who always want to hang out with you even though you have nothing in common with them
Fear of spam
Fear of stalkers
Fear of not having any more friends
Fear of growing old
Fear of getting a terminal disease that slowly eats you up
Fear of chemo
Fear of accidentally getting pregnant
Fear of miscarriage
Fear of overspending on my credit card on a big ticket item that I cannot resist, such as a 19th century piano made in France or something crazy like that that will take up a lot of space in my apartment and then I end up not using it much
Fear of floods and water leaks and damage to my stuff
Fear of laptop getting stolen with all my files
Fear of losing all my manuscripts due to computer failure
Fear of George Lucas ruining Star Wars forever by making more crap new Star Wars movies and constantly fucking with the old ones
Fear of being shown up by boastful people who fancy themselves very smart and who make me feel small because I can't pronounce something
Fear of buying things without price tags and getting a shock when they are rung up
Fear of expensive restaurants who charge you $40 for water
Fear of driving into Bush country with my "I Hate Bush" bumper sticker and getting killed
Fear of the world coming to an end because of the Neocons and Republicans and not being able to do anything to stop them


Peach is a writer living in San Francisco. Peach is also the author of Japanese Insults and Complaint Letter. For more of Peach's work please visit the Built Boyle Archive.

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