Hit Movie Pitch Boilerplates

By Darlene Lewis

I'll just have the organic green salad with miso dressing on the side.

Okay, here goes:

Young sexy couple fights zombies in apocalyptic suburban setting, but then girl falls in love with a zombie, who was a hot firefighter when alive. R-rated zombie-girl sex scene a must. Guy fights zombie lover in drippy bowels of football stadium full of hanging chains and zombies popping out of lockers. Will shoot three endings - guy survives, zombie survives, they become friends and movie ends with poignant Sophie's Choice artsy moment when the chick has to choose between the guy and the zombie. Submit to Canoga Park audience tests. Also shoot NC-17 violence and sex scenes for DVD.

$300 million Atlantis blockbuster. Underwater city, multicultural civilization at the height of splendor but then Aryan terrestrial invaders attack in Elizabethan, high-tech amphibuous craft. Doomed lovers subplot optional. Ends with 45-minute-long, CG eyegasm depicting Atlantis' destruction.

Prestige offering. Heart of Darkness set in Iraq. Cool parallel with Vietnam a la Apocalypse Now. Mad colonel holed up in Sunni triangle driven crazy by meaningless war, while young GI (Jake G? Heath L?) is sent by cynical superiors to assassinate him, etc. Maybe Martin Sheen can make an appearance. We're going for that post mid-term elections, liberal, fuck Bush thing. Make sure right-wing radio, etc. start attacking movie early. Idea: Michael Moore directs?

Romantic comedy set in world of sudoku. Going for Friends crowds with Peets Coffee tie-in. Scarlett's a little overexposed. Maybe that chick from Lost? And that guy from Lost? Some foreign dude? Garcia Bernal's US breakout role? He can look sexy/brainy and what's more yuppie than educated multicultural people in say San Francisco? He's a Chilean grad student (amateur poet?). She's a political consultant maybe. They both love sudoku. We'll work out the plot later. But there'll be parallels between crazy sudoku world and romance world (misunderstandings, etc.)

Others: Second Life movie?

Justin Timberlake time travel epic?

Late-90s nostalgia pic? (Clinton, Tom Hanks, cute wars a la Kosovo, etc.)

Why hasnŐt there been a Cats movie yet?